Friday, May 11, 2012

I Married a Visionary, What Now?

I love and often aspire to my husband's enthusiasm for life. I think it's one of the most attractive traits a person can possess. I often tell Kurt he's like a little kid, he finds awe in the simple beautiful things in life, things I often overlook. He's also never short on ideas. One week he's talking about moving to South Haven, Michigan to start a Bible college and the next he's google mapping the best location to open a Subway restaurant. On the radar this week? Having an orchard. This one's my personal favorite. When I asked Kurt if he was ok with me writing this post, he said, "Yeah of course, maybe someone will want to invest." (I have no idea which project he was referring to.)

I've heard it said, that the very things you fall in love with can often become the ones that rub you the wrong way. And over this first year of marriage I've found that saying true at times. Amid Kurt's excitement for life and its possibilities, I've found myself trying to take on the roll of bringing earth to Kurt. I haven't enjoyed it, but I've felt it necessary for some reason. After all, life isn't rainbows and butterflies all the time. There's possible failure around every corner. Right?

Yikes, well that reveals a little too much about me. Let's go there anyway. Yes, I'm one of those people who's too hard on themselves. Sometimes I'm so afraid of failure that I don't even try. Thinking on this, I'm reminded of the Martha and Mary story in the Bible. The problem wasn't that Martha wanted to cook Jesus a nice meal, it was that she thought it'd be the end of the world if the bread was burnt. My point is, I too often mistake the tree for the forest.

Thankfully, I've been blessed enough to marry a man who loves the forest and he's always trying to find a new tree to climb.

So this week I've been asking myself some pointed questions. Do I trust God? Do I trust my husband? Do I believe God wants us to enjoy life? Will it be the end of the world if a business venture fails? What does it mean to "build each other up"? What is my role as Kurt's wife?

One thing's become clear: I need to relax. It isn't my job to be Kurt's disciplinary. That's God's job and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want me to usurp it. Certainly Kurt and I should hold each other accountable, but we should also encourage and spur each other on! That's when we flourish. That's why marriage is so beautiful, it's about partnership and commitment even in the face of failure. It's a reminder of Jesus's commitment to us.

Jesus didn't come to earth, die for our sins and promise us eternal life for us to sit on our couch all day, too afraid to adventure. He's called us to climb trees, to have a child-like spirit, and to believe in ourselves. God likes it when we take risks.

Kurt pinching my button nose as he always does.
Michaela Rae


  1. Such an encouraging and insightful post, thanks for sharing. I sure I know I am guilty of this too, but I always remind myself to that God knows our needs better than we know them ourselves! And so when I fall into "what if's" I am reminded that the Lord is our Rock and giver of life-- why not use every opportunity possible to declare His glory in the adventures that life has to offer. Great post!!!

  2. love this post! thanks for your vulnerability. love you!

  3. He sounds like me. This week I am planning on moving to Grenada and living for a year, vacationing in Panama and taking a cruise down the canal all the while kayaking around the Galapagos islands! My husband is my rock that keeps me grounded!

  4. Michaela,

    Lindsey and I are probably the mirror image of you guys. In the time of a week or two, Lindsey will tell me that she wants to start an orchard, keep bees, be a farmer, start a school, found a private library, and move to Ireland. And...we also stop to look at everything. I run fairly close to your disposition.

    Also, Mr. Lani just preached last Sunday about that Martha and Mary relationship - we need to relax.

    Thought we'd share that.

    -Jared and Lindsey

    1. Haha! Jared, I remember Lindsey always wanting to stop at random places on the side of the road. I'd get scared we'd get in trouble...maybe get fined for trespassing *ahem*. ;) Now I wish I'd been more care free. Glad I have Kurt now to help me relax. Love you guys!

  5. I can relate to this post. I'm the realist (I've nicknamed myself a dream crusher), my husband is often a dreamer. We've been married 6 years and I'm still leaning what it looks like to be the best wife to Anthony (hubster). The funny thing is that looks different as time goes on and for each couple. I'm encouraged and impressed that you are asking these questions and are only a year in. Great job, Michaela!

  6. I can COMPLETELY relate. I'm a realist too. I think sometimes the best relationships are ones that have that balance, of a dreamer and a realist. And when both people have a bit of dreamer in them, it's all the better :)
    Thanks so much for your sweet comment on my blog! So nice to meet you :)

    1. Too true, Natasha! We're both dreamers, but I'm very thankful for his confidence to try and make them happen. :-)

  7. this really encouraged me, sweet friend. i think the Lord definitely wanted me to read this, so thank you! lots of love...

  8. My boyfriend is much more a dreamer than me so I totally relate to this and love how you've written it.


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